Robert (Fleming) Rankin (1949-)

According to his own bio, Robert is a peculiar Englishman, who in his lifetime has managed to have at least 39 different occupations, ranging from concert pianist, topless go-go dancer to rock singer and garden gnome salesman. At least, that is what he claims; he has admitted that he likes to lie about his achievements.

Robert Rankin certainly belong somewhere in the British humourous science fiction or fantasy genre, but it's hard to define exactly where. The majority of his inspiration is gleamed from alehouses, where the stories people tell him will sometimes become the tiny seeds from each his mighty novels sprout.

There doesn't seem to be many things that the great man considers taboo, certainly not religion, which he thinks the world could do without considering just about every war started out because people believed in different religions.

His first three books were part of the ever growing Brentford trilogy. These satiric novels are a pretty far-out mix of science fiction, fantasy and horror, all taking place in the suburb Brentford, outside London.

"The Antipope" (1981) based in and around the Flying Swan, a cosmic Rovers Return where layabouts, James Pooley and John Omally, plus Neville the barman and Archroy, owner of five magic beans, do battle with beasts of the occult and in particular the rather unpleasant Pope Alexander VI, the last of the Borgias.

"The Brentford Triangle" (1982) Floating camels, vindictive, grundge baring, wee bastard, postmen, a plot to move a pyramid to Brentford and a prospective alien onslaught on planet Earth. It was not the best of times for Jim and John and the good folk of Brentford.

"East of Ealing (1984)" When John Omally discovers a buried brass bed, he considers it his lucky day, how wrong can he be? Also featuring the return of Sherlock Holmes, the event of a foolproof idenity scheme and a lot of peculiar coughing.

Later, more books have been added to that trilogy:

"The Sprouts of Wrath" (1988) Unbelievibly Brentford Town Council has agreed to host the next Olympic Games. However, something sinister is afoot in Brentford, and it is up to the regulars of The Flying Swan to save the world as we know it, although not before Jim sets about becoming a multi millionaire.

"The Brentford Chainstore Massacre" (1998) : There is nothing more powerful than a bad idea whose time has come. And there can be few ideas less bad or more potentially apocalyptic than that hatched by genetic scientist Dr Stephen Malone. Using DNA strands extracted from the dried blood on the Turin Shroud, Dr Malone is cloning Jesus. Oh dear.

"Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls" (2000) Jim and John are back and this time John has realized his secret ambition to get into the music biz. He manages a band by the name of Gandhi's Hairdryer who are more than they appear to be. Jim in the meantime has met the woman of his dreams, could it really be love?

During the middle eighties Robert had a bit of a downswing, but once Terry Pratchett's star began to rise, Robert's book sales began to take off, at one point Robert's books were even drawn by Josh Kirby who does such a good job on Terry's books. Of course, these two share nothing in common, except the talent to write top drawer humorous fiction. Robert's novels are much weirder and contain a lot of occult references, he seems to have a thing for the occult which comes across in his writing.

Next up came the Armageddon trilogy.

"Armageddon: The Musical" (1990) : It is the year 2050 and the soap opera "The Earthers" is making big video bucks in the intergalactic ratings race. Alien TV executives know exactly what the old earth drama needs to make the off-world audience sit up and stare - a spectacular Armageddon-type finale

"They Came and Ate Us: Armageddon II, The B-Movie" (1991) Elvis, complete with killer sideburns, Barry, a time travelling sprout, Rex Mundi, a man confused and the Dali Lama, what more could you want?

"The Suburban Book of the Dead: Armageddon III, The Remake" (1992) in which, among other things, the time-travelling Elvis Presley reappears. Rex finds himself back on Earth in the final hours before the nuclear holocaust, things really start to confuse him. Can he save the world before he himself is atomized by the Repo Man who appears most anxious to make his acquaintance?

Other books as follows

The Cornelius Murphy-trilogy consists of

"The Book of Ultimate Truths" (1993) The late Hugh Artemis Solon Saturnicus Reginald Arthur Rune, hailed as the guru's guru, penned more than eight million words of genius, but vital chapters which could have changed the course of history were suppressed. Cornelious Mruphy and his best friend Tuppe set out to recover them.

"Raiders of the Lost Car Park" (1994) Hugo Rune returns. And just in time, for the evil fairies of Brentford are planning to conquer the world. To publicise his mission, Hugo plans to kidnap the Queen while she addresses the world before a gig by the greatest rock band on earth, Gandhi's Hairdryer

"The Most Amazing Man who ever lived" (1995) Norman's dad fell out of the sky and flattened him. Norman doesn't want to work at The Universal Reincarnation Company and it's God's fault. If He hadn't closed down Hell, then Heaven wouldn't have got overcrowded and they wouldn't have built the extension, and the URC wouldn't be recycling souls. Once again it is up to best mates Cornelious and Tuppe to save the day

Other books by Rankin:

"The Greatest Show off Earth" (1994) Raymond's had a rough couple of days. Snatched from his allotment by a flying starfish from Uranus and sold as a delicacy in a Venusian food market, it seems like his luck has changed when he is rescued by the travelling circus. But then this isn't an ordinary circus. Simon on the other hand has found a book that he thinks will make him a millionaire, unfortunately someone else has exactly the same idea.

"The Garden of Unearthly Delights" (1995) It was something to do with the cycles of history, the way great civilizations rise and fall. Few people noticed the changes at first, and by the time everyone realized, it was too late. Earth had left behind the age of science and reason and moved into a time of myth, legend, wizardry and heroes. For Max Carrion and his substantial boots it was time to write his name in history.

"A Dog Called Demolition" (1996) Danny is not sad and lonely any more, because Danny has "the voice", the voice of an imaginary dog called Demolition. The dog tells him what to do, like how to adjust the bar code reader in the shop, so he can read what people are thinking. Soon, Danny can bend others to his will and fears no man.

"Nostradamus Ate My Hamster" (1997) Robert wants to be a big star in the movies, unfortunately working at the Fudgepacker's emporium supplying movie props and avoiding the washing up isn't going to help him realise his dream. Then he decides to try and find the real Flying Swan pub.

"Sprout Mask Replica" (1997) His great-great-grandfather died at the Battle of Little Big Horn after going to complain about the noise; his grandfather spoke only in rhyming couplets; his father practised body modification; and then there was him - he was the weird one. The theme of sprouts pervades this "family memoir".

"The Dance of the Voodoo Handbag" (1998) The story of Billy, whose Grandmother left him the "voodoo handbag" in her will, after he had sold her soul to science. The tales it told Billy would change his life for ever - and the lives of other people too.

"Apocalypso" (1998) The Ministry of Serendipity at Mornington Crescent runs everything. When it hears of a spacecraft that crashed into the Pacific 4000 years ago, it sends a team of paranormal investigators to recover it. Danbury Collins is in the team - but he isn't keen. What if a mad alien thaws out?

"Snuff Fiction" (1999) Society's plug will be pulled on the stroke of midnight, 31 December 1999. But rejoice and give thanks, because snuff is making a comeback. This is a chronicle of the collapse of civilization, as the world slides into chaos with a smile on its face and a finger up its nose.

"Waiting for Godalming" (2001) At last, what the world of science fiction humour has been waiting for, A Lazlo Woodbine novel, this chronicles the greatest case for private eye Woodbine, who is called upon to solve the crime of all time, the murder of God. Also the slightly suspicious fact that the Earth was not so much inherited by the meek, than by Colin, God's other son, who was edited out of the bible when Jesus got artistic control. Lazlo's main strengths are gunplay, dark alleys, talking toot in bars and a big rooftop finale. His main weakness seems to be a Guardian angel sprout living inside his head. On the other side of town, thief Icarus Smith has discovered the 'Red Head' reality pill that reveal the hidden demons among us. Prof. Bruce Partington has invented a 'spectremeter' which raises the ghosts but can't make them go away again and just what is the mysterious Ministry of Serendipity up to with barbers' chairs?

"Web-Site Story" (2001) They wrote it off as a scare story. The Millennium Bug, the non-event of the 20th century. But they were wrong, because the bug was real. Is real. It's a computer virus and it's about to make the deadly species crossover from machine to mankind